I have worn a beard since October of 1981. I've gone down to a goatee twice, due to a major mistake in trimming (both times I forgot to put the guard on, so I scraped my beard down to the skin, and both times were right before Boston Pride; I am much more careful now), but I haven't seen my chin in over 30 years.
Last week, I was at one of my favourite yarn stores, just browsing (truth! I didn't buy any yarn that day), and the owner asked me what it would take to get me to shave my beard off. I told her that it would take yarn, and a lot of it. She asked how much yarn. I said, I'll sit at the table and you just pile it in front of me til I think it's adequate. And don't include any artificial fibres. Then the store got busy.
But I've been thinking about it all week. Just how much yarn would it take to get me to take off my beard? I reckon a whole helluva lot of yarn. A few hundred dollars' worth? A thousand? I don't know. I never thought about taking my beard off, since the last time I shaved my face, way back in 1981. I like having a beard. I don't like shaving. It irks me that I have to shave my neck, because, really, I do not like shaving. But if she offered me the right amount of yarn, would I do it? How long would I have to keep it off? I can grow a beard in about a week, so if I took it off I could have my beard back right quick. And think of all that yarn I'd get.
Am I that much of a yarn whore that I'll trade my good beard for a mess o'